How many of us have walked down a busy road or been in an arena with thousands of people and felt invisible? Or have you ever felt like laying your heart in front if someone but all you do is smile and pass them? Ignoring these things cannot change the fact that these feelings exist within you.
Everyone has things on the past they regret and shame over things they wish they hadn’t done. People hurt each other even without the intention and the feeling of the pain they caused someone is enough to keep them awake at night.
You try to hide them even from yourself and pretend that everything is ok. That you have your monsters in control but that cannot take away the fact that your monsters exist and that they are there causing you sleepless nights. Living like this is not easy and people suffer from depression and self-doubt because of it. People also believe that just because they harmed one of their friends they will do it to another so they stay from all of their friends and try to suffer alone. This only spreads the problem rather than help it.
What you really need to do is find a means to get better and that could be simply in the sheer knowledge that you are not alone in your battle. On the This Little Light blog by Jay Depoy, you will find posted stories about people battling shame and regret. These are people who go through sleepless night and fight to find peace for nobody but themselves. Reading these articles can greatly assure you that you are not the only who has a past. People do things that they regret but still find it in themselves to live in and be happy.